I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
