Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
