Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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