Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize