Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
