she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
