Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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