this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
