im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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