i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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