That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
