You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
NoShamevember. You game?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
