Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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