I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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