Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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