i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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