I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
