I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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