i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
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