maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
