Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
