why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
