Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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