I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
