When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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