just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize