Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
