but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
