If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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