He is like the real live version of the state fair..
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
