My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
