do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
