I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
All the doctor said was why
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
