I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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