Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
