I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
