Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
