I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
