you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
