i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
