So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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