You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
