Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
