No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
