Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he thought i was a dude.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
