I feel like I'm in dance class right now
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Actions speak louder than pants.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
