I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize