Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
