So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
