Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
