How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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