The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I wish I could teleport
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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