Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
