Soap is not a condiment
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
