I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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