I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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