So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
