have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
