Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
