i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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