i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My pussy is not your playground.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
