That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize