wat bout pragnant strippers??
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
