Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
