I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
