If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I need water and some morals
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
