that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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