Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Randomize
