I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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