after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
