I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i would punch a child for taco bell
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Found your dick twin last night
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
