I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
